Lately I have been having the same message appear in front of me from all different directions and people and I'm beginning to wonder if someone is trying to tell me some thing. The message? That attitude dictates all of life, that success and excellence is all about attitude as are failure and mediocrity.
My attitude to life is very much a 'keep the lid on' one. I worry about showing too much emotion or sharing too much information for fear of being judged and 'found out'. Our homeschool journey so far has lead me down a path of improving my attitude (very slowly, mind) as I am reminded that I am an example to our kids of how to live life. My desires for them to reach for the stars and pursue whatever they set their hearts on despite nay-sayers is hardly going to be achieved if I am constantly sheltering myself from any negative experience. I am working on putting myself out there more, beginning to see life's problems as a possiblity for great things (after a moan, a bit of foot stamping and tears that is) and slowly letting more people in. It terrifies the hell out of me most days and yet after the event I wonder what all the fuss was about.
I remember talking to a friend after the death of a colleague and her saying that she was an 'emotional cripple' - unable to share in her times of need and not sure of what to say or do in other's times of need. That is me all over - to scared to share and show the vulernabiltiy I have and useless at face to face support of others. Thankfully I have such a great group of friends - both near and far - that are leading the way and showing me how to live life its fullest - warts, hugs and all. Yet I wonder if I have ever shown them how wonderful they are by trusting them fully with my worries, questions and insecurities.
Even as I write, or struggle to write this, I am receiving messages to change my attitude. "Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand." ~ Emily Kimbrough. So thanks to all of you that have been there for me in times of doubt, need and joy. Even if I don't say it - and I probably haven't face to face - you mean so much to me and I'm glad that we have found each other to stumble along.
Arohanui
Y
www.becominghealthy.co.nz
I agree, becoming parents certainly made me reevaluate my life. But becoming a homeschooler has taught me more about myself and the example I set, especially as a women, wife and mama.
ReplyDeleteAnd you know (although I haven't said it either)you mean so much to me. In love and gratitude. Your friend. Linette
Ditto that on all accounts both of you - homeschooling really opens oneself up to thinking through who we are as women...and the need to share, support and trust others on this journey. What a privillege to be travelling with you.
ReplyDelete